the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Terrible idea I love it
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
