I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
