I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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