Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize