Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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