dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
