Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
