So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
