Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(906): View more from Michigan

i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.

(989): View more from Michigan

you're going for the gold here.

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(817): View more from Texas

Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.

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(404): View more from Georgia

You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.

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(682): View more from Texas

why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?

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(404): View more from Georgia

Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.

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(512): View more from Texas

You're like the curious george of whores

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(281): View more from Texas

I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.

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(312): View more from Illinois

And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards

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