so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no you cant smoke seaweed
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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