New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
