Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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