I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Sober January is a disaster.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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