32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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