Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
