i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
