Plan B is the new Plan A
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
