The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
