you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize