im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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