hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
there was a trapeze. enough said
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
