hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
