Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
