I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
