I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
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