Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Randomize
