The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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