just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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