That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
