ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
