And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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