It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Randomize
