i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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