I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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