I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
