so explain again why im purple
no
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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