if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize