grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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