so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
