If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
