i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
