You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
