god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
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wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
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I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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