I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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