You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
