News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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