The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
