trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize