tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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