I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize