I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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