oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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