if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
