Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
