All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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