Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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