i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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