I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
