So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I am midnight drunk by noon
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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