So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She needs sedatives and a leash
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Randomize
