he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
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How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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