We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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