trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
