Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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