we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
