I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
