he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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